psalm 90

psalm 90 is a chapter that i go to a lot at the start of a new year. at a time when everyone is talking about and planning new beginnings, fresh starts, and invigorating resolutions, it's helpful to recall the truth of psalm 90:

new beginnings and courageous endeavors are rooted in eternal, never-changing Reality.

so let's remember the nature of this Reality together.

"Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations" (v. 1).

You, Lord - the triune Jehovah, the great I AM, the only true and living God where all life and all beauty has its origin, in whom i daily live and move and have my being - YOU have been our dwelling place. You are the cleft in the rock where weak, vulnerable animals like us can hide (proverbs 30:26). You are the unchanging, never-shifting place of refuge and safety and rest that we are always searching for and never find in this world. You are like a door that is perpetually open, always welcoming Your blood-bought children to come in and feast on the abundance of Your house. and this is who You have always been. You never "became" this. there was never a time that this was not Your character. for all of eternity past and future, this is who You have been and will be.

"before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting You are God" (v. 2).

to humans with such short, fleeting lives, nothing appears more ancient, more solid, or more enduring than the lofty, rugged mountain ranges, or than the earth itself. and yet, this verse points to Someone greater, Someone more ancient, Someone more permanent, Someone who shaped the mountains and formed the very earth itself. this is Someone whose existence is from everlasting to everlasting, from alpha to omega, from beginning to end, from eternity past to eternity future. length of existence is relatively easy for humans to compute regarding their own life spans - most people can answer the question, "how old are you?" but the length of God's existence stretches the capacity of our minds to comprehend, let alone compute.

this is a God who is more than sufficient to be a dwelling place, a stronghold, and a refuge during times of uncertainty and change. He has seen it all, and has never been shaken.

rest in Him.

and out of that rest, resolve. secure in the hand of One who never changes, be bold and persevering in your pursuit of changing to be more like Him.

our weakness is no stranger

"i could never believe in God, if it were not for the cross...in the real world of pain, how could one worship a god who was immune to it? i have entered many buddhist temples in different asian countries and stood respectfully before the statue of buddha, his legs crossed, arms folded, eyes closed, the ghost of a smile playing round his mouth, a remote look on his face, detached from the agonies of the world. but each time after a while i have to turn away. and in imagination i have turned instead to that lonely, twisted, tortured figure on the cross, nails through hands and feet, back lacerated, limbs wrenched, brow bleeding from thorn-pricks, mouth dry and intolerably thirsty, plunged in God-forsaken darkness. that is the God for me! He laid aside His immunity to pain. He entered our world of flesh and blood, tears and death. He suffered for us. our sufferings become more manageable in light of this."
~john stott, the cross of Christ

this christmas, if you're not quite feeling the "holly jolly" part of the season, remember this. Jesus wasn't born a baby buddha, detached from the suffering and sin and thorns and pain all around Him. He came to take it, to bear it on His shoulders. He lived a hard, tempted, painful life and became "a Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief." He became sin so that WE might become the righteousness of God.

this is the God for me.

first and second things

nothing on earth is an end in itself. 

there is no beauty or love or treasure or security or glory on earth you will find that stands on its own. all of it is derived, contingent for its value on the supreme Value of something that completely transcends this world. as soon as you become enraptured by the beauty of something in and of itself and forget that its very beauty lies in the fact that it is an echo of the only Beauty that can stand on its own, you lose the beauty altogether. 

think of this statement: "one converses better when one does not say, 'let us converse.'" it may seem like a strange concept at first, but it makes sense. as soon as you focus all your attention on the mere act of conversing, you destroy it, because the nature of conversation is to be a medium by which you commune with another human being. conversation, by its nature, exists for something else. if you lose sight of that, you lose conversation as well. the same is true of everything in life. communication, art, science, marriage, family, friends, sunsets, sports, good meals, holidays...none of it is meant to stand on its own.

i think we know this instinctively ("He has put eternity into man's heart"), but it's so easy to forget, or even intentionally ignore. c.s. lewis has taught me a lot about understanding "first things" and "second things."

"the woman who makes a dog the center of her life loses, in the end, not only her human usefulness and dignity but even the proper pleasure of dog-keeping. the man who makes alcohol his chief good loses not only his job but his palate and all power of enjoying the earlier (and only pleasurable) levels of intoxication. it is a glorious thing to feel for a moment or two that the whole meaning of the universe is summed up in one woman - glorious so long as other duties and pleasures keep tearing you away from her. but clear the decks and so arrange your life (it is sometimes feasible) that you will have nothing to do but contemplate her, and what happens?"

this is how the world is wired, because it has been created. nothing we find here was ever meant to exist for itself. "every preference of a small good to a great, or a partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice was made" (lewis).

as with many worthwhile lessons in this world, this one is illustrated very well in j.r.r. tolkien's middle-earth, and this 3 and a half minute video will show you how:

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/interviews/how-the-harrowing-journey-profits-the-hobbit

you can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first.

and in the end, we know that the only One with glory enough to sustain the weight of being a "first thing" is Christ.

"nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. but look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in" (lewis).

"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together" (colossians 1:17).

"belatedly i loved Thee, O Beauty so ancient and so new; belatedly i loved Thee. for see, Thou wast within and i was without, and i sought Thee out there. unlovely, i rushed heedlessly among the lovely things Thou hast made. Thou wast with me, but i was not with Thee. these things kept me far from Thee; even though they were not at all unless they were in Thee. Thou didst call and cry aloud, and didst force open my deafness. Thou didst gleam and shine, and didst chase away my blindness. Thou didst breathe fragrant odors and i drew in my breath; and now i pant for Thee. i tasted, and now i hunger and thirst. Thou didst touch me, and i burned for Thy peace" (augustine). 

the hopes and fears of all the years

i'm sharing this article because i live such a comfortable, insulated life, and unless i make intentional efforts, i'll be blind to the reality - this kind of living hell - that the majority of the world's population can't afford to ignore.

http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/12/world/cambodia-child-sex-trade/?sr=sharebar_facebook

i'm also sharing this because i believe that i know Who is the answer. only Jesus has the capability and the willingness to heal and redeem not only the girls who are exploited and abused, but also the parents who sell their children, the "sex tourists" whose perverse desires created the demand for this industry in the first place, the traffickers who deal in human life and have almost single-handedly destroyed the lives of who-knows-how-many children, the corrupted government officials who turn a blind eye and refuse to deal out justice...and us, as we read this article and instinctively despise the ones who are to blame for the whole mess. of course, hatred is a perfectly good reaction to this kind of wickedness, but do i loathe the sin in my own heart as much as i loathe what i see in the world outside of me?

photography by Jeremie Montessuis of CNN

sometimes i wonder how happiness and beauty - the very things that are so tragically missing from these exploited children's sad lives - how does it relate to the brokenness and unspeakable depravity and seeming hopelessness that flood over me when i'm willing to open my eyes to it? more specifically for the season we are in now, how does the jollity and celebration of christmas relate to what we read in this article?

maybe the "christmas spirit" isn't about shielding ourselves from anything negative, dirty, or unhappy that may potentially disturb our happiness as we decorate and shop for gifts...maybe it's having our eyes wide open to the mess and pain and sorrow and still daring to hope that the Christ whose birth we are celebrating really is the One who "makes death itself work backwards," and "who comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found."

so read the article, and let yourself feel the gravity of the tragedy, but don't despair.

"o little town of bethlehem,

how still we see thee lie.

above thy deep and dreamless sleep,

the silent stars go by.

yet in thy dark streets shineth

the Everlasting Light.

the hopes and fears of all the years

are met in thee tonight."

lessons from an orchestra 1: the conductor

last week, my best friend and i went to an orchestra concert. i went with the expectation of being blown away by the beauty of the music i would hear, but i didn't quite expect what God actually had in mind to unfold to me during that two hour concert. i've decided to write a few posts to try and sum up what i saw and heard, both because articulating it helps me to process it and learn His lessons more thoroughly, and because it might prompt someone who reads these thoughts to slow down and open their eyes to the Beautiful Reality that is all around us.

the first thing i saw was the conductor. honestly, i've always wondered what the precise role of the conductor is. after all, the musicians in the orchestra are all well-trained, extremely talented and accomplished musicians, and they are all reading the same music. why do they need the conductor? my first clue came as one of the lead violinists of the louisville orchestra spoke before the start of the symphony. he made a comment about a long-time conductor of the orchestra who once led them in a piece with extremely complicated rhythm and constantly changing time signatures. he said that "every time you lose your place in the music and can't find the beat, you look up and see him [the conductor] and he had it right there." so, even this experienced violinist needed a director, a guide, one who could feel the beat when he had lost it, one who knew the music even better than he did.

once the symphony got underway - it was rachmaninoff's symphony no. 2 op. 27 - i found myself drawn to watching the conductor's face every time it showed up on the screen. his back was to the audience, of course, but at times the image on the screen would pan to his face. every time, i was amazed - the expression on his face and his body language seemed to perfectly match what i was hearing the musicians play. i saw so many emotions on his face - intensity, expectancy, delight, serenity, and above all, sheer joy. it was almost like watching someone eat a delectable meal - sometimes he would even lick his fingers after a particularly pleasing note (reminds me of the psalmist's urging to "taste and see that the Lord is good").

my favorite part was how he would "cue" certain instruments or particular musicians. he used everything in him - everything except words - to draw out a particular quality of sound from a part of the orchestra. it was almost as if he was coaxing it out of them. and the look on his face when he heard the sound he was calling for was pure joy. he loved what he was hearing. it seemed to satisfy some deep place in his soul.

in one breathtaking moment, it dawned on me that the reason this struck such a chord with me [by the way, does anyone realize how many of our idioms are based on music??] is that GOD is the ultimate Conductor. the reason the conductor was doing what he was doing, and the reason it captivated me, is because it's an echo of God.

do you see it? God asks for a certain quality of life - of beauty - from His children. sometimes it may be the sweet melody of brotherly affection. sometimes it may be the crescendo of boldly, prophetically proclaiming truth. sometimes it may be the diminuendo of meekly taking the lower place. sometimes it may be the triumphant notes of rejoicing with those who rejoice. sometimes it may be the minor key of weeping with those who weep. He, as the Conductor, gives the cues for each quality as the time comes for it to take precedence. "for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" (ecclesiastes 3:1).

and i have to believe that when He sees these qualities emerge in us, as a product of His grace alone and as a reflection of His ultimate beauty, it brings unspeakable joy and delight to His heart. just as it brings satisfaction to ours to catch glimpses of the beautiful sound He miraculously draws out of our lives [by the way, to any john piper fans: this is christian hedonism, isn't it?].

watching the conductor direct his orchestra made me love the Sovereign Conductor of my symphony all the more. with Him giving us our cues, why wouldn't we give Him what He is asking for, to both His delight and ours?

"...we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God" (colossians 1:9-10).

"God is delighted with our obedience when it is the fruit of our delight in Him. our obedience is God's pleasure when it proves that God is our treasure" (john piper).  

"one of the main motivations for obedience is the pleasure of God" (kevin deyoung).  

on the final day i die

i want to hold my head up high

i want to tell You that i tried

to live it like a song

~switchfoot, "where i belong" 

watch the entire symphony here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvuitFzDxDg

prisoners of despair...or prisoners of hope?

prisoners of despair...the A Che people

39,000 people who live in remote regions of the Yunnan province of China

no Bible in their language

no one who even speaks their language

can't read or speak Chinese, the language of their countrymen

so utterly unknown and uncared for that they have never even been listed in a missions organization's list of unreached people groups

prisoners of despair..."In the past, they claim they were closer to the gods, but then their line of communication with the Creator was broken. Therefore, they are now unable to enter heaven" (joshuaproject.net).

thus, they believe in a multiplicity of gods that they have no hope of ever gaining favor with

the words of their Creator that would set them free and give them life are not even available to them in their own language, and there is no project underway for making them available

the A Che...prisoners of despair, of Satan, and of the futile ways they have inherited from generations before them

do you see them, Father?

You do see..."from heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind..."

will you also overlook them, Jesus?

no, You won't..."I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb..."

did You really mean every language, Father? even the unknown language of the A Che? did You really mean every people and tribe, Lord? even these 39,000 who are enslaved to darkness and to whom the rest of the world is oblivious? even them, Jesus?

yes.

even them.

they, too, have been formed in His image. they, too, have the knowledge of God that stares them in the face every morning when they wake up and see the same sunrise that i see day after day. for them, too, Christ died. and His work is not complete until they, too, glorify His name.

and what will it take to reach them?

how will they call on Him of whom they have not believed? and how will they believe in the One of whom they have never heard? and how will they hear without a messenger?

a messenger who sees the beauty of Christ with such clarity that no obstacle is too large to take His name to a people who are still waiting to learn of it. whose faith in the living God is so real and vibrant that no challenge will daunt them and no darkness will seem impenetrable. who are willing to be made like their Master, who became like a seed that falls into the ground and dies in order to bear much fruit.

a messenger who will have to be stirred and shaken by Almighty God before they will surrender whatever is holding them back from venturing out in faith on a mission that the world would call foolhardy and ridiculous.

shake and stir that person, Father. make the Word like a blazing fire in their bones that would burn them up if they dared to keep silent. don't let them love their families or their homes or their safety or their comfort more than they love Your name, more than they desire that You be lifted high among the nations. send them forth to the A Che people with love, power, and reckless abandon.

is it i, Lord? or is it one who reads these words even now? O God, forbid that we would deny You if You are calling us..."to hope's end we ride and to heart's breaking" (J.R.R. Tolkien, Return of the King).

and let those who now walk in darkness see a great light. let the prisoners of Satan's waterless, hopeless pit become prisoners of hope (Zechariah 9:11-12).

"For morning came, morning and a wind from the sea; and darkness was removed..." (Tolkien, Return of the King)

living upon the God who is invisible

~journal entry from a couple days ago...

“On Mine arm shall they trust.” Isaiah 51:5

“Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:9

“O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

“Blessed are those whose strength is in You, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage…They go from strength to strength.” Psalm 84:5, 7

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:5-8

“Learn the divine skill of making God all things to thee. He can supply thee with all, or better still, He can be to thee instead of all.” C.H. Spurgeon

Father, forbid that I should go through this year relying on the god of mustered willpower and self-sufficiency, rather than on You. Have mercy, dear Lord, and save me from myself…if an easy year where everything goes smoothly would cause my heart to turn away from full and humble reliance upon You, then please, dear God, don’t give me an easy year. I surrender myself to whatever trial You may bring, and all I ask is that if You send storms, let them wreck me on the rock of my God; and if You send hurricanes, let them drive me to You and You alone. Don’t let me, or my team, be so at ease that we cannot pray with urgency or passion…if we must be tried and tested and burdened beyond our ability to bear in order to learn to pray individually and together, then so be it.

“Now that thou has only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in Him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou art in thy weakness when underneath are the everlasting arms. Now is the time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous, and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as He built the heavens and the earth, glorify Himself in thy weakness, and magnify His might in the midst of thy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky were supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory if it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye” (from this morning’s Morning and Evening by Spurgeon)

O God, forbid that I should be known to the world or my team or people around me as a strong, capable person. Let them not say that I am a rock that can’t be moved. Let them see me as a weak person whose God is strong, as a lacking person whose God is all-sufficient. Let them see that my God is the Rock, and let them see that I have nothing, and am nothing, without Him.