I Asked the Lord

This is an old hymn by John Newton that my dad just told me about. As soon as I read the words it seemed to pinpoint the exact experience I've been having lately. I'm seeing more and more that the Christian life, though it promises abundant joy, promises that you will find it by going through hardship and pain, not around it. If you ask God for holiness, be ready for intense trial. Valleys of sorrow lead to rivers of joy.

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace,
Might more of His salvation know
and seek more earnestly His face.

'Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer,
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request.
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest.

Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe,
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Humbled my heart, and laid me low.

"Lord, why is this?" I trembling cried;
"Wilt Thou pursue Thy worm to death?"
"Tis in this way," the Lord replied,
"I answer prayer for grace and faith."

"These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free,
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou may'st find thy all in Me."