allen

he just graduated from 6th grade, but looks more like a 16 year old.

spiky hair. earring. (it's real, unlike most wanna-be-punk 6th grade boys)

his mom is a mail-order bride from vietnam, his dad is the taiwanese equivalent of a redneck.

two brothers...one's a troublemaker in junior high now, one's in 1st grade and is still sweet.

I've never heard anything but filthy, crude, spiteful words come out of his mouth. never seen anything but hate and darkness in his eyes. never seen him treat another human being with anything other than cruelty and roughness.

at Easter, I told his class about One who came to die...One who came to save them...One who can give them new life. One they desperately need. One [I hope] I would die to see them meet.

allen scoffed occasionally, but was unusually quiet. listening...considering.

until, at the urge of a Voice inside my heart, I went directly to him and told him,

"allen. 耶穌愛你. 你相信嗎?" (Jesus loves you...do you believe that?)

I've never seen a child - or anyone, for that matter - with such a violent reaction to the news that Someone loves him.

his eyes were filled with nothing but pure hatred. he scoffed. he spat. he was literally shaking in his seat.

in the middle of his fit of repulsion, he could only spit out the words "不相信" (I don't believe it), along with an array of foul words in both Chinese and Taiwanese that I wouldn't want to repeat. something in him completely, totally despised both the name of Jesus and the thought that He loved him.

in my natural self, I would only want to turn and run from such hatred and darkness. it scares me, because it's so beyond me. he's so beyond any human help.

but the same Presence in me that made my heart incline toward allen in the first place told me to remain calm, to stand my ground, to respond to his rejection with patient, firm, resolute love that wouldn't back down.

so instead of giving up on him like everyone else does, and turning away from him like I was tempted to do, I said, "不管你信不信, 耶穌愛你. 祂真的愛你." (no matter if you believe or not, He still loves you...He really loves you)

"我不相信, 我不相信." was all he could say...almost like he was trying to convince himself that it wasn't true.

I pray that one day, when he doesn't know if anything else is true, he'll remember those words...and come home to the One who made him.

that's allen. he graduated last monday. but his face will always haunt me.